NFL

“Jason Collins’ announcement really hit home for me, making me realize I needed to be truthful and let my teammates and fans know that I am not who I appear to be," said Carimi. "I am not a competent football player. I am a bad football player.”

Tim Tebow has just been cut from the Jets and his agent's phone has been ringing off the hook ever since. But it is not NFL teams that are calling to recruit the controversial quarterback. It is reality television producers calling to pitch show ideas to the failed football star. Some ideas coming from some not so regular reality outlets.

“I watched Howie on television last fall and I swear he told Jimmy Johnson he was going to re-enter the NFL draft, so when I saw he was still on the board at Number 20, I jumped at the chance to get him.”

A tearful Tebow told reporters at a farewell press conference, “While I’m sorry to leave the Jets, I look forward to being with my new Sin teammates and the challenge of the Lingerie-brand of pro football.”

Movie buffs, however, may have heard of Kyle Long's father, Howie, who has been featured in such classic action-packed films as "Broken Arrow," "3000 Miles To Graceland," and his best-known role as firefighter Jesse Graves in the 1998 blockbuster movie "Firestorm.

"This study comes as a surprise to no one," claimed Regina Benjamin, U.S. Surgeon General. "Mets fans have mostly been unable to achieve an erection since 1986, while many living Jets fans cannot become aroused even mentally."

Marc Trestman is known for being an offensive genius from the Canadian Football League with a haircut rivaling LeBron James for best sports haircut, but what few people don't know is that he still hasn't finished the Bears playbook for next season.