NFL

When San Diego's Mike Tolbert scored a first-quarter TD Monday night against Jacksonville, it gave the Chargers a 7-0 lead but also dealt the country's last undefeated fantasy football team its first loss of the season and provided the 1972 Dolphins with yet another reason to celebrate their claim to fame.

According to sources, suspended Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh recently decided to drive around and "annihilate stuff" in his hometown of Portland, smashing any inanimate object that got in the way of his cherry Chevrolet Coupe.

In the midst of a remarkable hot streak, Broncos QB Tim Tebow has decided to put his team’s AFC West lead in jeopardy by sitting out next week’s game against the Bears so he can play Baby Jesus in his local church’s annual living nativity.

"Roy Williams is very, very shitty receiver," said Sato. "But when he did his Dropzilla act it reminded me of all the carnage another beastly, alligator-armed monster has wreaked our proud country and I just about lost it."

On the wings of purchasing worthless stock in their football team, Packers fans have bought certificates providing them with the naming rights of stars in the Milky Way, and just in time for Christmas.

For the fifth time in their history, the Packers are offering a sale of what they call stock, though purchasers receive no more than a piece of paper saying they own a portion of the city-owned franchise. No voting rights, cash value or any other benefits come with the stock, come along with the $250 (plus handling fees) purchase of the stock, making it essentially a donation without a tax deduction. Naturally, fans are lining up.

Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh has filed suit in federal court Thursday arguing that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's two-game suspension of the star defensive lineman was culturally biased.