On the wings of purchasing worthless stock in their football team, Packers fans have bought certificates providing them with the naming rights of stars in the Milky Way, and just in time for Christmas.
CEO of the International Star Registry John Hamill says his company’s marketing efforts towards Packers fans began less than a week ago, and that all legal caveats were provided in sales pitches.
“We specifically state in our ads that the only other benefit received for $54 a star is a map showing how to locate it,” Hamill said.
Packers fans responded in delusional fashion and think that they are getting a value significantly greater than what they are paying for, however.
“I’m going to rent out my star and collect rental income,” said Packers fan/Milky Way star naming rights owner Jeb Horsewright, who also owns 200 shares of Packers stock, yet has never been to Lambeau Field despite being on the Packers season ticket waiting list for 30 years.
“Jeb isn’t being realistic,” said his wife Emma, apologizing on his behalf. “The tax break isn’t realized unless you live on the star yourself, which is what we are going to do. We’ll continue to check in with Earth periodically to see how we’re progressing on the Packers season tickets waiting list.”
“Makes sense to me,” said Chicago Bears fan Mark Sewell. “Packers fans aren’t from this planet anyway. You have to be from Mars to wear a stupid cheesehead.”
By Rob C. Christiansen