Orton-Tebow match-up just like Ali-Frazier says guy who knows nothing about sports or history
At least one fan who knows absolutely nothing about sports or history is comparing Sunday's match-up between Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow to the classic boxing matches of the early 1970s between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier.
Hung-over Bears fan already too close to puking to watch season finale
“The first camera shot of Mike Martz and it would be all over,” said Benson, who partied until 4 a.m. on New Year’s Eve. “We just had the rug cleaned, so I’d rather not splatter it with the greasy eggs and sausage I just ate in hopes of getting over last night.”
Alex Smith really wants to remind you that he was drafted ahead of Aaron...
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, so the guy has his Super Bowl ring and probably an MVP trophy after this year,” said Smith. “Yeah he might also be the most efficient quarterback ever to play the position. So what? You know who has two thumbs and was drafted ahead of Aaron Rodgers?”
Marino vows to hold onto NutriSystem ads after Brees breaks passing record
“He’ll never take that from me,” gurgled Marino. Sobbingly, he picked his head up, stared at the three reporters in the room and muttered, “I’m in the best shape of my life. And I eat pizza, pasta, and even burgers.”
Carl Weathers’ NFL Power Rankings — Week 16
Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only 8 NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.
Fresh off impressive dunk in Green Bay, Josh McCown gets tryout with Bulls
"Five months ago, I was coaching high school football," McCown said. "Now I'm a starting QB in the NFL with a chance at the NBA. It's been a Christmas miracle."
McCown chosen as sacrifice to Gods of Green Bay
The Chicago Bears have selected third-string quarterback Josh McCown to be sacrificed to the Packers on Sunday. The Gods in Green Bay, known for controlling the icy winter wind and creating obese dairy farmers, demand to be appeased through regular sacrifices.
