NBA

First it was new dress codes. Then new rules governing player attire. Now the NBA has decided to cut each period down to five minutes to allow for more in-game entertainment.

A four-time defensive player of the year and perceived missing piece of the puzzle, Ben Wallace has raised expectations for the Chicago Bulls. Known as "The Body" for his impressive physique, Wallace also has brought some hair-raising expectations for the fans who wonder aloud if he's "going to wear the 'fro tonight?"

We at The Heckler have one mission: To bring Sports Illustrated to its knees.

After a pair of convincing victories this weekend, the Chicago Bulls have decided that enough is enough.

Why They Might Be Good: Off the court, stud Wiz point guard Gilbert Arenas is one of the more genial professional ballers around. On the court, he'll kill your mother. (Actually, three years ago, in a meaningless late-season game against the Bulls, he killed Tyson Chandler's pit bull, Brick.) His grouchiness, combined with forward Antawn Jamison's ability to confuse opponents with the pronunciation of his first name, should catapult Washington into the first division.

Why They Might Be Good: Few teams have had better luck than the Jazz with overseas players: Russian forward Andrei Kirilenko, Turkish center Mehmet Okur, Croatian sharpshooter Gordon Giracek. But this year, Coach Jerry Sloan went universal, picking up Martian swingman Gleepnork, Venutian power forward .000100001100101 and rookie space cadet Dee Brown.

Why They Might Be Good: The combination of shot-making guard Ray Allen, the team's young legs, and the easy access to energy-reviving Starbucks coffee courtesy of soon-to-be-former team owner Howard Schultz guarantees that on any given night, the Sonics can run anybody out of the gym.