Why They Might Be Good: Off the court, stud Wiz point guard Gilbert Arenas is one of the more genial professional ballers around. On the court, he’ll kill your mother. (Actually, three years ago, in a meaningless late-season game against the Bulls, he killed Tyson Chandler’s pit bull, Brick.) His grouchiness, combined with forward Antawn Jamison’s ability to confuse opponents with the pronunciation of his first name, should catapult Washington into the first division.

Why They Might Suck: Off the court, stud Wiz point guard Gilbert Arenas is one of the more genial professional ballers around. On the court, he has a tendency to disappear in the fourth quarter. (Actually, three years ago, in a meaningless late-season game against the Bulls, he disappeared. Literally. He was found three days later wandering around Navy Pier, munching on a corndog.) No Gilbert = no win.

The Dude Other Than Arenas Who I Want on My Fantasy Team: Caron Butler. That way, when my pals say, “Why is your fantasy hoops team so lame?” I can say, “The Butler didn’t do it.” (Hey, quit bitching. You try coming up with a good Caron Butler joke.)

Bottom Line: The Wizard’s roster is up-and-coming – problem is, they’ve had basically the same roster for about 67 years. Unless Jameson and Butler have All-Star seasons, look for at best a second round playoff exit and a roster overhaul – which, in this case, means dumping poetry-spouting forward Eton Thomas.


heckler editorial staff