Kane County Cougars send pitcher to Cubs for rehab assignment
“He can’t do any worse than what we got now,” manager Dale Sveum said after learning the 6’6”, 235-lb. right-hander would be joining his team. “Besides, ‘Feldmania’ is over, so why not try something new?”
Beer-throwing wife in Wrigley bleachers was a plant, admits Bud Light
“Finally!” admitted a Bud Light spokesperson. “Do you know how many couples we had planted in those bleachers dumping beer on each other? It’s about time those WGN-TV cameras finally caught it live. What on earth have they been filming instead?”
Quenneville tells Shaw Game 4 will be played in Rockford
"I love Shawzer and the intensity he brings to the game, but god damn it he's got to turn it down a notch every once in a while," said Quenneville. "The way he's playing he's never going to get a call, and we need a few breaks to go our way right now."
Cubs Week in Review: Feldmania in Wrigleyville
“Feldmania” continues to rage like Barry Bonds after a bad PED injection (allegedly, of course, we have no proof) as Scott Feldman won his fourth straight start Saturday.
Anthony Rizzo splurges on a Vespa
“Ever since I played for Italy in the World Baseball Classic and got rides to and from games and practices on the back of my teammates’ Vespas, I have been looking forward to the day where I could purchase my own," said Rizzo. "Thanks to the new contract, today is that wonderful day.”
Cubs Week in Review: 4-2 versus good teams?!
The key to the team's success is obviously derived from starting pitchers able to scientifically harness beard power and apply toward ERA/WHIP and velocity.
Cubs pitcher Ed Jackson allowed to go back to ‘Edwin’ after getting first victory
"Man, it had gotten so bad that Dale [Sveum] was having all my teammates call me Edlose until I won my first game," said Edwin/Ed/Edlose.
