Cubs send Astros flowers, ask them not to leave
It became apparent over the weekend that the Cubs suddenly noticed the value of their partners in shame when thousands of bouquets of flowers appeared around Minute Maid park with notes that read: “Gonna miss u. Baby plz don’t go."
Bloated corpse of Tony Plush found in Wisconsin roadside ditch
"We've seen Nyjer around all season, but it seems like his .238 batting average was too much for Tony Plush to handle," said Milwaukee County Sheriff Deputy Michael Scottsdale. "Tony left Nyjer earlier this year and it appears he just couldn't handle himself in the outside world."
Mets shocked with Matt Harvey’s early success, thought they ‘would’ve already screwed him up...
"Truthfully, I'm stunned right now and can't believe what my eyes are watching when Matt starts games for us," GM Sandy Alderson said after Wednesday's win over Philly.
Embarrassed Valentine now wearing fake mustache disguise with Red Sox
In an effort to conceal his identity, disgraced Boston Red Sox skipper Bobby Valentine has pulled out an old trick, wearing his fake mustache disguise while in the dugout and conducting postgame press conferences.
Major League Baseball encourages Cubs to start using PEDs
"There are many people out there using drugs to increase performance," he said. "I wholeheartedly endorse usage by the Chicago Cubs. They are that bad."
Yankees sue Dodgers for copying their Buying A Championship™ Strategy
A day after the Los Angeles Dodgers pulled off a megadeal with the Boston Red Sox, the New York Yankees slapped them with a $400 million lawsuit, claiming the club stole its patented strategy for success.
Clemens seeks to dispel PED allegations by dominating hitters at the age of 50
"Nothing will further cement my innocence than dominating professional hitters at the age of 50," said Clemens. "It's totally unnatural, sure, but I'm one of those rare athletes that stays competitive as I age. Kinda like Barry Bonds, but clean."
