Whatever solace there is in not currently being the worst team in baseball, the Cubs can add to that the fact that they are not even last in their division. That special privilege falls to the also-rebuilding Astros, who, unfortunately for the Cubs, will flee to the American League next season before either team has a chance to battle for anything besides premium draft picks.
It became apparent over the weekend that the Cubs suddenly noticed the value of their partners in shame when thousands of bouquets of flowers appeared around Minute Maid park with notes that read: “Gonna miss u. Baby plz don’t go.”
“Yellow roses mean ‘friendship,’ right?” said Cubs owner Tom Ricketts when asked about the gesture. “Should I have upped it to red? What do posies mean? I met my wife in the Wrigley bleachers, so I’m not very good at courting without a gallon of Old Style in my system.”
Ricketts sees continuing the relationship as mutually-beneficial – the Cubs could continue to charge the same ticket prices as long as they don’t descend into last place and Houston would receive the luxury of saying they finished 10 games behind their next competitor instead of 25.
“I sent [Astros owner] Jim Crane a friend request on Facebook,” said Ricketts. “He hasn’t responded. But I remain hopeful. Do people still ‘poke’ each other?”
When asked, Houston officials said they were still under the impression that the separation had been mutual and have already begun wooing other rivals.