After having disappeared for nearly the entire baseball season, the corpse of Tony Plush — the alter-ego of Brewers backup outfielder Nyjer Morgan — was found in a Wisconsin roadside ditch Thursday morning.
“We’ve seen Nyjer around all season, but it seems like his .238 batting average was too much for Tony Plush to handle,” said Milwaukee County Sheriff Deputy Michael Scottsdale. “Tony left Nyjer earlier this year and it appears he just couldn’t handle himself in the outside world.”
Upon learning of Plush’s fate while in Chicago where he’s been mostly riding the bench in a four-game series again the Cubs, Morgan was visibly by the death of his cocky alter ego.
“Tony was great to have around,” said Morgan. “I guess he just couldn’t hang with someone who’s only scored 38 runs all season.”
While police wouldn’t reveal the cause of Plush’s death, insiders suspect it was a curve ball in the dirt.
Morgan said he plans to replace Plush with his latest characters, “Frank E. Pops Up To Short” and “Mr. Mediocre At Best.”