’85 Bears reunite at White House to record new opening for MNF
President Obama has invited the Super Bowl XX championship Bears to the White House after their original visit was postponed in 1986 and never rescheduled. While there, ESPN has convinced them to reunite the ‘Shufflin' Crew’ to record a new opening for MNF.
NCAA adds Indiana and Missouri St. to last-minute ‘Prozac Self Esteem Bowl’
In an effort to fill a holiday void of one night without worthless bowl games, the NCAA has reached out to corporate sponsors to create another bowl of little or no significance.
Cubs players allowed cell phones on field to refute internet trade rumors
In the wake of Monday’s events – during which Ryan Dempster himself cut down wild trade speculation shortly before the Cubs played in Pittsburgh – the Cubs’ front office has deemed it necessary for players to have their cell phones on them at all times. If only to prove where they are.
Chicago media can’t remember what they asked Hawks players about before streak
“Do you, um … like hockey?” one reporter asked a confused Patrick Kane. Several minutes of awkward silence followed, until somebody finally asked Kane if he remembered the streak.
Tale of the Tape: Horse racing Randy Moss vs. NFL Randy Moss
Because of the stark contrast between two sports figures named Randy Moss, we here at The Heckler thought it would be fun to do a Tale of the Tape to determine just who the greatest Randy Moss is - the reporter or the cocky NFL receiver.
John Fox prepares for new ESPN job by dodging his own questions
“I started preparing by interviewing myself in the mirror. It’s interesting how my answers are thorough with surprisingly little substance. This job may be harder than it seems.”
ESPN broadcasts 1 millionth Tom Brady speculation segment
Where will Tom Brady play in 2020 and does anyone outside New England really care about the soon-to-be 43-year-old with a shot arm? Outside of ESPN, not really. But boy do the hosts of First Take, Get Up, SportsCenter and even NBA: The Jump sure do!
