Former Bears head coach – and anti-media darling – John Fox signed on this week with ESPN as an NFL analyst. This was a surprising venture for Fox who seemingly originated the concept of alternative facts, while turning media evasion into an art form. In his new role, Fox has vowed to keep things status quo.

“I’m looking forward to this opportunity as a credentialed member of the media,” said Fox. “I started preparing by interviewing myself in the mirror. It’s interesting how my answers are thorough with surprisingly little substance. This job may be harder than it seems.”

While Fox has several months to prepare for the NFL season, he expressed an anxiousness to get started and cited an unlikely source for information.

“It will be great talking football with many of my former players and peers. [Bill] Belichick is one I especially look forward to talking to. I’ll definitely get some good conversations out him.”



Heckler Brian