Yankees

The Yankees hope it’s much ado about nothing. Rafael Soriano isn’t so sure.

“I think what’s best for everybody in this situation is if the owners keep all of the money and the players play for free,” said Yankees’ owner Hal Steinbrenner. “We want baseball to be played this year. The players want that, the fans want that and we want that. We are willing to do whatever it takes as long as it doesn’t involve making less money.”

We've all heard stories of freak accidents involving routine activities, but Yankees slugger Giancarlo Stanton is still shaking his head in disbelief.

At this point it is no secret that Joe Buck has accepted $1 million to commentate live porn webcams. It didn’t take long for fans to once again give Buck a hard time.

“If you can’t trust the President to provide Americans with sound, honest, fact-based advice, who can you trust? Plus, we need to do our part to juice the economy,” said Manfred. “Churches are going to be packed on Easter Sunday morning, and we’re going to pack Yankee Stadium with 60,000 screaming fans later that afternoon. It’s going to be great.”

We’ve done some highly detailed and deep research dives into what that annual salary is worth more than.

The sample was compared to a blood test conducted during his time with the Cubs and they realized that leaving the Cubs actually improved Soriano's DNA to the point that he became an effective baseball player again.