Everyone has heard by now how that hero to the downtrodden, Mr. Scott Boras, has selflessly and–as many would say–Boras-ly negotiated a $324 million/nine-year deal with the Yankees for free agent pitcher Gerrit Cole.

That’s an average annual value of $36 million the grumpy ex-Pirate. So, for fun, we’ve done some highly detailed and deep research dives into what that annual salary is worth more than. Here are some of them:

The Marlins (not including Derek Jeter’s parting gift baskets)
El Chapo
The New England Patriots video department’s budget
Baby Yoda Christmas toy sales
The total valuation of Peloton Interactive, Inc. (NASDAQ: PTON)
The combined budget of Space Force and Presidential Hair System maintenance
LeBron James, Zion Williamson and Marv Albert (“YEEESSSS!!!!!” I mean, “NOOOOO!!!!!!”)
The Alabama football department
Snoop Dogg’s “medical” supplies
The Heckler’s tab at Heavenly Bodies

Patrick Olson