We’ve all heard stories of freak accidents involving routine activities, but Yankees slugger Giancarlo Stanton is still shaking his head in disbelief.

“I didn’t even know it was possible.”

After a socially-distanced workout in Tampa, Stanton had stopped at a nearby pharmacy for his post-workout staples, electrolyte-infused water and Biofreeze. The otherwise uneventful trip was marred when he returned to his room at The Vinoy Rennaissance St. Petersburg Resort & Golf Club.

“I placed my stuff on the table, washed my hands, then used my thumbs to guide my mask’s first elastic over my head. No problem. When I thumbed the second elastic at the base of my neck, the pain was unreal. You’d think I slammed them in a door or something. They were pinned at that point, and I couldn’t open the door to get help. I had to dial 9-1-1 with my nose.”

A bewildered Yankees training staff considered the possibility of transitioning Stanton to a bandana or scarf before ultimately deciding to hire a “mask handler” or “caddy” to affix and remove his protective gear for the foreseeable future.

Stanton expressed great appreciation for the extra care before quipping, “I’m just grateful I didn’t sprain my middle fingers because I use them a lot more.”

Stanton added that his teammates and fellow players had taken to social media to wish him a speedy recovery and share some good-natured ribbing via “thumbs up” GIFs.