Friday, January 27, 2023

Soriano misses being booed, insults Chicago fans to get it back

In the fifth year of his eight-year $136 million deal Cubs left fielder Alfonso Soriano has been leading the team in home runs, is near the top of the Cubs RBI list, and has been playing better defensively, but apparently he’s missed the one thing he learned to embrace his last first years in Chicago: booing.

Heckler Comic: Rangers welcome Mets with Weiner Night

To celebrate the Mets' rare visit to Texas, the Rangers unveiled Weiner Night.

Shocking news about Mets medical staff revealed after another terrible misdiagnosis

Speculation of wrongdoing began when an unnamed source leaked information that the cash-strapped Wilpons secretly cut the medical budget by 75 percent after the disastrous 2009 season, which saw almost every player on the Mets roster land on the disabled list.

Every active player named to MLB All-Star team

Not only will the stands at Arizona’s Chase Field be filled to capacity this Tuesday, but so will the dugouts. Bud Selig announced today that every active player in baseball is on call for the Midsummer Classic.

Brewers worried K-Rod may wreak havoc on fans’ fragile, clogged hearts

Brewers manager Ron Roenicke announced today that newly acquired Francisco Rodriguez will be setting up John Axford for the remainder of the season. He was cryptic in his reasoning, but it is believed he made the decision with overweight fans in mind.

GOP and Obama still divided over debt ceiling, Jose Reyes contract

While both sides are willing to make some concessions to end its lockout, neither side is budging on Mets shortstop Jose Reyes. The Republicans want to trade him to the highest bidder, like the Boston Red Sox, Manchester United or Exxon Mobil. But Democrat Nancy Pelosi insists that Reyes and Stanford senior Andrew Luck are untradeable because “we cannot mortgage the future to fund our excesses of today.”

Mets hoping to trade everyone except Jose Reyes and David Wright

Of all the Mets on the block, Carlos Beltran and Jonathan Niese seem to be the only ones drawing major interest, but Alderson insists he’ll do all in his power to move “the other guys.”