Not only will the stands at Arizona’s Chase Field be filled to capacity this Tuesday, but so will the dugouts. Bud Selig announced today that every active player in baseball is on call for the Midsummer Classic.

“There were so many comings and goings, we just decided it would be easier to name everyone to the teams,” mumbled the Commissioner. “This game counts, and we don’t want another Milwaukee incident on our hands.”

As many as 30 players initially named to the rosters have backed out for various reasons making this year’s crop of All Stars a who’s who of… “Who?”

James Shields was replaced by CC Sabathia, who pitched Sunday and was replaced by Alexi Ogando. Due to family reasons, Ogando was replaced by Bartolo Colon, who will rest a sore hamstring. Colon’s injury made way for Josh Tomlin, who didn’t answer his phone, which ultimately opened the spot for the Angels’ Scott Downs. Chicago’s Phil Humber will stay at a nearby Radisson Hotel in Phoenix in case Downs is unable to make it.

Additionally, “sixth choice,” stars such as Scott Rolen — who replaced Pablo Sandoval who replaced Aramis Ramirez who replaced Placido Polanco and is batting only .247 with five HRs — will not have their season stats displayed on Diamond Vision to save them the embarrassment.

With more than 90 players named, it is rumored that teams will be shelling out over $80 million in All-Star bonuses, which easily smashes the old record of $31 million.

First pitch is scheduled for 8:37 P.M. Eastern Tuesday night on Fox. Pregame introductions are now slated to begin at 4 p.m