Nation’s girlfriends agree: ‘We want to watch the Puppy Bowl!’
In a recent poll released by Animal Planet, the nation's girlfriends have all agreed on one point: They want to watch the Puppy Bowl, which is slated to air throughout Super Bowl Sunday. According to the poll, the nation's girlfriend's overwhelmingly want to spend at least part of Sunday watching puppies aimlessly wandering around a miniature football field.
Cubs sign Travis Hafner to 10-year, $125 million contract
The Cubs surprised the sports world today, signing 35-year-old DH Travis Hafner to a 10-year, $125 million contract. The oft-injured former Cleveland Indian hasn't played more than 150 games in a season since 2007, but team president Theo Epstein said he finally couldn't resist the urge to frivolously spend his club's money on an aging veteran who does nothing to improve the team.
NHL rulebook update: beating Hawks, Sharks in regulation now worth three points
“Consider the superhuman effort it would take to actually overcome the inevitable six-goal barrage. Add to that the endless forechecking, skilled defense and two hot goalies,” said a breathless league executive. “We wanted to make such an amazing victory special. That is, if it ever actually happens.”
’72 Dolphins will recognize Blackhawks’ undefeated start minus any wins over Columbus
"We love what the Blackhawks are doing," said former running back Larry Csonka, who is a spokesman for the only Super Bowl-era team to finish a full season undefeated. "We will recognize their accomplishment with one rule--we are not going to count any more games against Columbus."
Fans’ opinion of Suh tanks even more after he saves annoying ’80s comedian from...
When Suh and the washed-up funnyman Louie Anderson finally beached themselves poolside they were greeted with a chorus of jeers and boos that wouldn't be out of place at Soldier Field. "Let him drown!" shouted one observer. "Louie hasn't done anything worthwhile since 'Coming to America'!"
New Orleans prostitutes to charge extra for Kaepernicking
"With the popularity of Kaepernicking and the sheer volume of customers that come through here during game week, we could be looking at a few grand a night for simply kissing a guy's bicep tattoo. The price is actually triple if the tattoo is located anywhere besides the bicep."
Illini basketball coach admits he only looked at half of schedule before signing
"It looked like a piece of cake," said Groce, whose team faces top five Michigan on Sunday with a 2-4 record in the Big Ten. "I felt like I was back in the MAC, fooling people by shooting a bunch of shots and playing no defense."
