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Theo Epstein, Cubs president said that with the rebuilding of the club complete, he expected more form the team he assembled than what he got in return.

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Dale Sveum has been fired after two dismal years at the helm of the Cubs. This year's team went 66-96, and team president Theo Epstein said a better manager would have had different results.

“Our scouts showed us a VHS cassette tape of Uncle Rico throwing a football towards a video camera while he stood in a field next to his van," said Emery. "We were so impressed with his footwork and agility, we knew we had the right player to back up and possibly compete with our starting quarterback.”

“Shaq was the face of the NBA for years. So why can’t he become the face of the Kings?” Stern said on NBA TV. “However, I will not allow him to rename the team. No way will they be called the Sacramento Shaq Daddies.”

"The errors, the disastrous draft picks, the overpriced big name signings ... this team has it all," said Gilligan. "Much like Walter White destroys everyone in his path, so too do the Cubs lay waste to an entire half of Chicago."

"It was a tough decision, but sometimes you have to ignore your heart and set your roster using your brains. Getting attached to a bench player is a surefire way to miss the playoffs."