The Chicago Cubs today ceased operations after their billionaire owner Joe Ricketts learned the players belong to a union, which he vehemently opposes.
"After reviewing all three of Hernandez's home runs, we determined that one was invalid because it was hit off Hector Rondon, who got smoked all series long," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "The way Rondon pitched doesn't warrant that home run to count."
His Cubs may have been eliminated from the postseason Thursday night, but manager Joe Maddon is reportedly still running around the team's clubhouse in his jockstrap, in what insiders call a "crazy" outburst from the recently unhinged skipper.
With the Cubs postseason hopes on life support, local charities are reporting a dramatic influx of calls Wednesday morning from Cubs fans looking to give away their NLCS Game 4 tickets.
"I know I said I didn't, but in truth that's the reason." he said. "I mean, look at where I' m from and the places I've played. Try to get a good one in Texas or, for God's sake, St. Louis."
Wacky Joe Maddon and his often-times questionable managerial decisions have translated over into his everyday life, as he was spotted Monday afternoon eating soup with a fork, despite having a perfectly good spoon right next to him.