With the shocking news that the 2018 Boston Red Sox were just another championship team from New England that probably cheated, it can now be reported that the only team to win a World Series honestly the past decade is none other than the 2016 Chicago Cubs.
With the world teetering on the verge of nuclear destruction, the Cubs have decided to not make any moves this offseason until they are sure that there is anyone alive left to sign at all.
After a deep review of the project's finances, officials have concluded the entire overage can be attributed to one worker in the city's Department of Streets and Sanitation.
"We've got a lot of work to do and moving Todd is our top priority," said President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein. "Unfortunately no one is interested in the guy."
Some would call the Hot Stove League -- baseball’s offseason carnival of trades, free agent signings and fans of all teams hating Scott Boras -- the second-best season in sports after baseball’s regular season. The 2019-2020 edition promises not to disappoint.