MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday morning that he was wiping out the six home runs Jose Abreu hit this weekend at Wrigley Field due to the White Sox slugger’s use of a banned substance.

“Somehow Jose was unaware that chewing tobacco is banned at Wrigley Field,” said Manfred. “Yet, there he was, playing the entire series with a dip the size of Texas in his lip.”

Manfred said he has a “no exceptions” approach.

“This kind of rule-breaking will not be tolerated,” said Manfred. “Now maybe if he was stealing signs we’d let it pass.”

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