Interim Bears starting quarterback, Mike Glennon got in a heated argument this week with the owner of Chen's Chinese Restaurant in downtown Chicago. It had nothing to do with the Kung Pow Chicken or quality of service, but rather the zodiac paper place mats on the dining room tables.
"Once I lock eyes with a receiver, it's on. That's where I'm going with the ball," said Glennon. "In fact, I'm looking at Kevin White right now. I have been for the last 35 minutes."
"Yes, he did that against the Broncos' second and third stringers," admitted Bears fan Bob Borowski. "Which is why I'm not predicting double-digit Super Bowl rings."
"Not worried about job security at all," argued Glennon. "Here's the thing. In Tampa, I had these really obnoxious neighbors at my apartment complex who would play Metallica all night long. Florida leases are tough to break, so I was forced to deal with the situation. I spent a lot of tired, groggy days on the bench because of it."
Those who've known Bears GM Ryan Pace since his youth are not surprised about the blockbuster trade he pulled off Thursday night, parting with three draft picks just to move up one first-round spot to choose North Carolina QB Mitch Trubisky.
"Our team has a lot of work to do and our ultimate goal is to win the Super Bowl," Fox stated. "Whether that goal is reached this year, it's really hard to say. It's not that I can't say. The words are just really hard to get out of my mouth."