Less than a day after his controversial social media post about the NBA’s strike went viral, Hall of Fame former Bears linebacker and hair transplant pitchman Brian Urlacher has a new job with Fox News.

“We are always looking for new talent to regurgitate our fair and balanced white nationalistic views and Brian just fell in our lap,” said Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott. “He’s already out there spouting racist conspiracy theories and non sequiturs online so he’ll fit in well. Plus he’s rich and clearly hates paying his taxes so let’s do this.”

Scott added that Urlacher will be a frequent panelist on shows with Fox News personalities like Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham, all of whom he already had in his inner circle.

“This is going to be great,” said Urlacher. “I can’t wait to get paid to spew short-sighted ignorance on TV instead of just doing it for free on the internet.”

Photo by Rene D.