NFL

"While the Dallas Cowboys and Oakland Raiders both have rabid fan bases and plenty of experience as franchises, the other bubble teams just look a bit more relevant heading into the season," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

The man now dubbed "Johnny Hero" jumped off of his inflatable party swan, grabbed the girl’s T-One Mobile Sidekick away from her and then -- while in mid-air -- found time to take a picture of himself giving his patented cash money sign, all before safely landing on a pile of rolled up hundreds he had misplaced earlier in the evening.

“Fine, if they don’t want to call my team ‘Redskins,' I totally understand,” Snyder said in a team press release. “They can at least compromise by using other references I’ve offered.”

"People want more football. Look at Green Bay. Now, granted, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, to do there. But the Packers have open practices that draw in excess of 50,000 people," Goodell said. "Fans have told us that our current product is not enough. You tell me the people of Buffalo, New Orleans or even a big market like Chicago don't want the preseason expanded? The attendance and the merchandise sold indicate they do."

Fearful of any possible backlash of boorish booing from the local cheeseheads, Favre's special night will be held where he had so many special nights, Soldier Field.

In the closed door, media-only demo the phone clearly said "Hello, Ochocinco" when thrown to Montreal Alouettes superstar Chad Johnson. In addition to traditional information like missed calls, text messages and a calculator, the ball will record the distance it was thrown and YAC.

News of Lynch’s impressive stat has led to many around Chicago to rush to their local sporting goods stores to snag his jersey, but Lynchmania apparently has a stranglehold on the area as there are currently no Lynch No. 36 Bears jerseys in stock in any stores.