NFL

Less than a month after visiting the White House, the 1985 Chicago Bears demanded -- and received -- a visit to Buckingham Palace.

“You can’t teach size,” said GM Mike Tannenbaum of the 323-pound Mangold. “She’s bigger than Nicky, and he’s a Pro Bowler, why not keep it in the family?”

Following an epiphany, Tampa Bay wide receiver Mike Williams completely removed himself from his own fantasy roster today. Realizing that only 2 percent of all Yahoo! Fantasy League owners were still starting the maligned wide receiver, Williams placed himself on waiver wires.

Angelo managed to keep from cracking up while offering a trade deal for safety Chris Harris, but lost it when Seahawks GM John Schneider said he would consider it and asked about the veteran defensive back's skills.

“Wow!” an exuberated chief executive, Bill Polian exclaimed. “That was your classic trap game against Cincy. I mean, they should beat us, but have such a littered history of massive meltdowns and chokes that I was sincerely worried they might let this one go. I almost considered taking Cedric Benson out on the town last night just to lock this sucker down.”

Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings. Despite playing only 8 NFL games, Weathers was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.

Few Bears fans would have taken away anything negative from the 39-10 demolition of the Vikings Sunday night. That was before the untimely and rather shocking announcement that starting left tackle J'Marcus Webb has played his final down of football and has retired.