MLB

The girlfriend of former slugger and steroid tattletale Jose Canseco today admitted that she received a performance-enhancing injection of her own.

The new Cubs regime has placed a premium on statue dedication ceremonies and other feel good media events to drum up support for their fledgling ballclub. To usher in the New Year, the Ricketts family announced plans for a special ribbon-cutting ceremony along I-80 near rural Minooka, Ill., where a 300-mile stretch of interstate running from Chicago to Des Moines will be renamed the "Jeff Samardzija Highway."

Jake Peavy prides himself on “telling it like it is,” yet the right-hander shocked even the most seasoned of reporters yesterday when he gave a very candid prediction for his season. “I think I’ll probably go 7-5 and suffer some freak injury about a week or 10 days into August. Let’s say, Aug. 9 against the Orioles.”

Spring Training is months away, yet Hawk Harrelson is in midseason form, already rationalizing Adam Dunn’s career strikeout total. The newly acquired DH has over 1,600 whiffs and averages about 180 a season.

In a sly move by the White Sox biggest rival, the Twins tricked the South Siders into signing a 14-year-old girl sharing the same name as reliever Jesse Crain for $13 million over the next three seasons. The Twins resigned the real Jesse Crain for considerably cheaper.

The Cubs GM is afraid to tell owner Tom Ricketts about the additional three years and $45 million he included in the Carlos Pena deal.

Much to the chagrin of fans attending the Cubs Convention, Kerry Wood arrived to Friday’s opening ceremonies at the Hilton Chicago wearing a sling after injuring his elbow pushing a button in the hotel’s elevator.