MLB

Guillen showed his trademark aggressiveness when he woke up one day last week, thought of the name 'Schmozzy' and immediately adopted a fourth son to bring home to Ozzie Jr., Oney, and Ozney.

Long Toss is part of every pitcher and catcher’s pregame warm-up, but A.J. Pierzynski may be in hot water as a result of his loose interpretation of that ritual before Monday's Cubs-Sox game.

“I played Wii for hours at a time all off-season, and I think I messed up my swing a little bit,” Dunn admitted. “Playing Wii, you pretty much hack away at every pitch. That works OK against your kid, but it’s the wrong approach against big league pitchers.”

"Back in the day it was Sammy versus Big Frank or even Barrett versus A.J.," said Cubs fan Tim Bland. "Now it's Pena versus Paulie or Danks versus Garza. Talk about a yawn fest!"

“I was watching the Sandlot on TBS the other day and was just amazed at what those shoes did for Benny 'the Jet' Rodriguez,” said Quade, sporting a pair of P.F. Flyers of his own. “It would take the lightest pair of shoes in the world and a 10-second head start to get Aramis to steal a base, but maybe these could help the rest of us out a bit."

Hoping to eke out a late-inning insurance run in a tight game, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen recently opted to send in a glacier to run for slow-footed slugger Paul Konerko, who had knocked a single to left.

A few minutes after pretending to be extremely happy about the Cubs jersey you gave him for Father’s Day, your dad wondered aloud if you had the receipt “just in case it doesn’t fit, that’s all.”