Long Toss is part of every pitcher and catcher’s pregame warm-up, but A.J. Pierzynski may be in hot water as a result of his loose interpretation of that ritual before Monday’s Cubs-Sox game.

“They’re always telling us to interact with the fans, so I don’t see what the big deal is,” Pierzynski said when asked about reports that he was in Lot E playing a heated game of bags and eating Italian sausage sandwiches less than 15 minutes before game time, when he was supposed to be going over the game plan with his starting pitcher.

Fans who witnessed the traditional tailgating pastime said it was all in good fun, and that A.J. was delayed only because the game wouldn’t end.

“It was a bunch of cute drunk girls who don’t know how to throw, and A.J., who can’t throw to save his life either,” said a fan. “That’s a recipe for a really long game.

Onlookers reportedly booed Pierzynski’s every toss, with calls to “Put in Castro!”

“Every time A.J.’s turn came up, he could’ve ended it with one good toss,” said pitching coach Don Cooper. “But he either bounced all three bags 10 feet in front of the target, or launched them into some guy’s cooler three cars down. We’re going to work on his stance and mechanics.”

A visibly irritated Ozzie Guillen could not grasp the concept of “throwing bags.”

“Corn hole? I been called a lot worse than that.”

By Dave Gallagher