Heckler Comic: Ricketts finds way to save Cubs season
Despite his team's lackluster performance this year, Cubs owner Tom Ricketts has come up with a golden way to save the season.
Rodrigo Lopez becomes frustrated answering reporters’ questions about who he is
“Look, I’m getting tired of doing these post-game press conferences and the first thing you all ask me is ‘Who are you?’ or ‘What are you doing here?’” said Lopez after Monday’s game.
Quade pencils ‘Excessive Heat’ into lineup for rest of week
After defending National League Cy Young Winner Roy Halladay was forced to leave his start Monday night in the fifth inning at Wrigley Field, Cubs manager Mike Quade declared that Excessive Heat would be penciled in his starting lineup for the duration of the homestand.
Yankees announce more Jeter milestones in hopes he’ll once again rise to occasion
“Did you know the all-time record of 2-out base hits against an American League team located in Illinois is 17?” asked manager Joe Girardi. “And our leadoff batter is just two clutch hits away from surpassing that mark.”
Walgreens Bat Boy decides to sit in the visitor’s dugout
“I guess I’m no longer a kid,” said Phillip Marston, who is 13 years old. “I’m just another cynical adult who realizes the Cubs are a pathetic bunch of losers.”
Brewers worried K-Rod may wreak havoc on fans’ fragile, clogged hearts
Brewers manager Ron Roenicke announced today that newly acquired Francisco Rodriguez will be setting up John Axford for the remainder of the season. He was cryptic in his reasoning, but it is believed he made the decision with overweight fans in mind.
Heckler Comic: The seagulls pick up a habit from fans at Wrigley
Not to be outdone by Cubs fans, the Wrigley Field Seagulls have started texting at the game.
