After defending National League Cy Young Winner Roy Halladay was forced to leave his start Monday night in the fifth inning at Wrigley Field, Cubs manager Mike Quade declared that Excessive Heat would be penciled in his starting lineup.

“He’s going to be here all week,” said Quade. “After the fine job he did against Halladay, I figure why not go with who’s hot.”

Heat had worked the way up the Cubs minor league system, spending time in Single-A Daytona and Double-A Tennessee, killing several opponents at both stops before arriving in Chicago.

“Batting leadoff will give our opponents the most opportunities to have to deal with Heat,” said Quade. “And we think that gives us a big advantage.”

The Cubs manager pointed out that when others have had to initially battle Heat, many do not know how to handle the intensity and find themselves concentrating too much on the potential effects instead of the rest of the team, something other Cubs are welcoming.

“Heat’s tough,” said outfielder Alfonso Soriano. “Plus, you notice how the ladies deal with Heat? I have to learn the secret on how to get them to take their clothes off so much.”

By Tim Baffoe

Tim Baffoe