Thursday, December 3, 2020

Second-Best Sports Town Update: Philly, Detroit, Denver & Atlanta advance

We’ve reached the Isolated 8 and things are getting intense! Atlanta edged Oakland for the last spot. Now it’s time to see who’s going to make the Furloughed Four!

The Heckler’s Second-Best Sports Town Tournament

With an unfortunate lack of viable competitions this March, we decided to unleash a tournament to determine the second-best sports town in America. We already know the winner (Chicago).

Anthony Rizzo will miss today’s game to give eulogy for the ball he murdered...

As Rizzo rounded third, a silence fell over the crowd and many fans removed their hats out of respect for the life the ball had given to the players and fans.

Cubs game delayed an hour for Kris Bryant and Bryce Harper bro hug

The much-anticipated matchup between the Phillies and Cubs will be delayed until 8 tonight to allow Kris Bryant and Bryce Harper to properly reconnect with a one-hour bro hug.            

Alshon Jeffery ‘totally pissed’ the TODAY show hasn’t called him yet

"They had Cody Parkey on to tell him how honorable he was after he missed that kick," said Jeffery. "I dropped a routine pass into the hands of a defender that sealed a playoff loss for us. Can't I be honorable too?"

Jake Arrieta writes second letter to Cubs fans

Jake Arrieta posted a farewell letter to Chicago on his Twitter account when he signed with the Phillies back in March. Now, with the Cubs starting a three-game series in Philadelphia, Arrieta posted a second note.

Trump seeking to deport Vikings to whatever shithole country they’re from

Following their 38-7 shellacking in Philadelphia Sunday night, President Donald Trump demanded the entire team be deported.