MLB

While the Cubs chairman has scored low on the baseball IQ chart since taking over the team, Tom Ricketts is starting to show some savvy after scoring Theo Epstein to replace Jim Hendry as GM. Unfortunately, Ricketts attempts to pawn off both Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano to Boston have not been met with exuberance.

“When they ask me to get nude, I had no problem,” said the speedy shortstop. “Five years ago, I'd never do this, but since I've played for the Mets my entire career, I no longer get embarrassed.”

As Cubs fans celebrate the likely hiring of Theo Epstein as GM, it's yet another instance of the team's biggest news happening off the field. In the long and mostly forgettable history of the Cubs, most of the team's big news has occurred off the field. Here's a glimpse.

“Not one member on that team is good enough to play here,” said Sox owner John Henry. “But those golden pipes of Pat Hughes are well-suited to broadcast games from Fenway.”

Following the lead of the Occupy Wall Street movement, Cubs fans have banded together to form Occupy Wrigleyville, a group dedicated to lowering ticket prices, hiring Theo Epstein, signing Albert Pujols and “just more partying in general.”

White Sox slugger Paul Konerko will be participating in Sunday’s Chicago Marathon, and if he can beat last year’s time, he might even finish in less than a full day.

Now it’s time for the real playoffs to start. In my day we didn’t have any of this Nancy-boy Wild Card stuff. Let’s gamble!