Monday, August 8, 2022

Richard Sherman named first-ever NFL Player-Referee

“It’s true I know the rules better than anyone and can play-ref this game blindfolded,” claims Sherman. “Unfortunately, I also see this as an opportunity for the league to suspend or fine me double every week.”

NBA’s Eastern Conference Finals to continue anyway

"This is a best of seven series," said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. "We have TV deals in place, player contract stipulations must be enforced and I'd personally like to see LeBron [James] just destroy Toronto's will to live, to be honest."

NFL decides not to award Lombardi Trophy after awful Super Bowl

"Concussions. Arrests. Even those HGH rumors. This brutal display of athletics on the game's biggest stage has done more to tarnish our sport than any of those other issues," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "Hell, the fact I'm still running this league should be the most embarrassing part of today's festivities. But now? Nope. Not even close."

Tearful Manning tells friends he’s retiring from Papa John’s commercials

Manning's decision was not unexpected. Reportedly, Schnatter had become increasingly worried about Manning's on-camera persona. Rumors had been spreading about Manning missing his cues and fumbling his lines. Camera crews began to notice Manning was no longer as sharp with his delivery as he was during his prime, when he was on top with his "cut that meat" commercials

Super Bowl 50 Bingo Board (Downloadable)

The big game between the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers is finally here. Will it be Peyton's last? Can Coldplay make it the full halftime set without an instrument malfunction? Play and/or drink along with The Heckler's Super Bowl 50 Bingo Board.

Jim Nantz excited to incorrectly use the word ‘dab’ during Super Bowl

"I've been hearing a lot about how the young kids like the dabbing nowadays, and I think they'll really feel pretty 'dabbed' about hearing a hip, cool announcer using their 'lingo' during the biggest television event of the year," Nantz was overheard telling a young intern with a media pass.

Manning to go take a nap at Disney World if he wins Super Bowl

After making the fourth Super Bowl of his storied career, 39-year-old Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has told reporters that he is excited for an opportunity to take home a second title, promising that, if he were to win, he would be going to Disney World, where he would promptly "take a nice, long nap."