Monday, August 8, 2022

Local businesses impressed that StubHub is still finding ways to charge fees despite not...

While many businesses are taking a huge hit during the COVID-19 pandemic, StubHub is still going strong. How is a business that depends on people buying event tickets still thriving despite their being zero events in the world?

Air transferred out of footballs used to further inflate Belichick’s ego

"You may be wondering if we purposefully deflated our balls and the answer is 'Yes'," admitted a smug and unapologetic Belichick. "Sure, we had home field advantage and a better all-around team, but is that ever enough to stick it to your opponent?"

Patriots debunk Bill Nye The Science Guy’s theory by stuffing him in locker

After the New England Patriots declared they didn't alter their footballs in any manner and attributed the fluctuations in pressure to cold temperatures, skeptics pounced. One such individual was Bill Nye, noted thermal engineering expert and all-around creepy genius, who claimed that the explanation given by the Patriots was an absolute scientific impossibility.

Goodell to receive ‘fair’ appeal hearing from same judge that ruled against him

“I was beside myself when I learned I would be hearing the appeal,” Judge Berman remarked. “And, when I say ‘beside myself,’ I mean that person beside me will have a tough task of either agreeing with his original decision or the person he just ruled against. It’s hard to say which way it will go.”

Pope reportedly snuck in visit with Stanley Cup

The world learned today that Pope Francis visited with the Stanley Cup Saturday night in Philadelphia. It was the pope’s first ever visit to the United States and Lord Stanley’s Cup’s first ever papal visit

Richard Sherman named first-ever NFL Player-Referee

“It’s true I know the rules better than anyone and can play-ref this game blindfolded,” claims Sherman. “Unfortunately, I also see this as an opportunity for the league to suspend or fine me double every week.”

God to March Madness teams: ‘I’m only helping Loyola and Sister Jean’

God took a break from trying to fix the world today to send a message to all the NCAA basketball tournament teams that are not Loyola: “I’m not helping you.”