Following a sloppy, ugly game between the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers, NFL officials have decided to skip the postgame trophy ceremony and instead simply tell both teams to head home and be glad they aren’t being fined for the irreparable damage done to the sport.
“Concussions. Arrests. Even those HGH rumors. This brutal display of athletics on the game’s biggest stage has done more to tarnish our sport than any of those other issues,” said commissioner Roger Goodell. “Hell, the fact I’m still running this league should be the most embarrassing part of today’s festivities. But now? Nope. Not even close.”
The nation’s fans agreed with the decision after the Broncos defeated the Panthers.
“Sure, it hurts to say Goodell is right, but this is not what Vince Lombardi would have wanted,” said NFL fan Mark Benson. “You can’t hand someone a trophy after this one. Maybe if it was that turkey thing they give away on Thanksgiving. You could give the Broncos that one, I guess. Von Miller played a nice game. Defense wins championships or whatever.”