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On the heels of Wrigley Field's overwhelmingly successful October 1 showing of the Chicago classic "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," the Cubs marketing team has announced 13 more movie nights during actual Cubs home games.

While the Cubs chairman has scored low on the baseball IQ chart since taking over the team, Tom Ricketts is starting to show some savvy after scoring Theo Epstein to replace Jim Hendry as GM. Unfortunately, Ricketts attempts to pawn off both Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano to Boston have not been met with exuberance.

It's no secret Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz doesn't like to run the ball, but this word cloud based on his last five halftime speeches reveals a disturbing obsession with passing plays.

"We at the Crayola Company are very excited to introduce another color into our crayon family while honoring our close friend Tom Coughlin, the perpetually angry head coach of the New York Giants," said Spencer Helfman, Crayola's CEO.

A University of Chicago study of text messages sent out since Frank Omiyale replaced Gabe Carimi at offensive tackle for the Bears shows that people are texting OMIYALE! instead of OMG! to emphasize bummer situations.

Although he wouldn't divulge how the first round of musical chairs went, he did say the top two performers will not only automatically keep their job on the line this week but can choose where they'd like to play and even have input on the blocking schemes.

"It was great that Coach Fox heeded our advice on the Timmy Tebow situation," said Bill Bennett, president of Broncos Fans With Too Much Time and Money on Their Hands. “Now we’d like him to start considering some other moves.”