A University of Chicago study of text messages sent out since Frank Omiyale replaced Gabe Carimi at offensive tackle for the Bears shows that people are texting OMIYALE! instead of OMG! to emphasize bummer situations. At first blush, the longer acronym appears oxymoronic to the purpose of initialism, but in this case is said to convey far more meaning.

“I was texting a friend while walking down the street and I wanted to express how badly my shoes needed to be shined,” Bears fan Zoran Helminski said. “I hadn’t worn them since last winter and they had caked-in salt deposits all around them. They were dried out and about to fall apart on me. The heels and soles are in good condition though. But OMIYALE! I really should have stopped what I was doing and got them shined.”

“The OMIYALE! initialism, when juxtaposed with the false-starts, missed tackles and sacks against Jay Cutler that Frank Omiyale is responsible for, is an organically developed phenomenon that morphed into pop culture without any help from Facebook or marketers, sponsors or advertising,” University of Chicago history professor Jamie Brisky said.

By Rob C. Christiansen