Breaking!

After more than 90 years in the NFL, the Green Bay Packers were proud to celebrate a new tradition last month when 29-year-old fan Bob Glokowski became their first fan to earn a degree following 15 semesters at a local community college.

"We came up with a pretty good strategy," said Carcillo. "I’ll annoy the piss out of everyone, then John and Jamal will take care of the rest.”

The Jets fell to 5-5 on the season after a last-minute loss to Tim Tebow’s Broncos Thursday night, and Rex Ryan believes a higher power may have had something to do with it. As a result, the outspoken head coach held a closed-door team meeting after the game where he ordered his entire team to attend mass on Sunday.

The game of football has changed over the years, and some would argue not for the better thanks to penalties and replays.

“We believe that ‘Chicago Cubs 2012: Sink or Sveum’ perfectly captures the low expectations everyone has for this team moving forward,” said Director of Marketing Floyd Roxton. “Dale won’t have any idea what hit him when Zambrano melts down in a meaningless Spring Training game, and balls start bouncing off Soriano’s head.”

While being sequestered for questioning, Bennett called coach Lovie Smith to inform him that he would not be making the trip to San Diego. A very groggy Smith calmly reminded his valued receiver that the game this Sunday was at home. A humbled Bennett apologized to the TSA and offered to buy everyone some TCBY.

While being sequestered for questioning, Bennett called coach Lovie Smith to inform him that he would not be making the trip to San Diego. A very groggy Smith calmly reminded his valued receiver that the game this Sunday was at home. A humbled Bennett apologized to the TSA and offered to buy everyone some TCBY.