Just moments after the Chicago Cubs hired Dale Sveum as the team’s next manager, the Marketing and Promotions department issued a press release announcing the new slogan that will be the tagline for the upcoming season’s TV and radio spots.

“We believe that ‘Chicago Cubs 2012: Sink or Sveum’ perfectly captures the low expectations everyone has for this team moving forward,” said Director of Marketing Floyd Roxton. “Dale won’t have any idea what hit him when Zambrano melts down in a meaningless Spring Training game, and balls start bouncing off Soriano’s head.”

“When we’re eight games out by the third week of April, fans will already have been conditioned to the idea of the 2012 season being a sinking ship, which should minimize the sting of another wasted year,” said Theo Epstein.

Initial TV spots are reported to be centered on highlights of the Cubs’ most embarrassing errors from the 2011 season, interspersed with shots of Sveum looking concerned in the dugout and quick cuts of sunbathing bleacher blondes.