NHL

"I was still drunk four hours after I got to work on Thursday," said Hawks fan Tom Benson, referring to the day after the three-overtime Game 1 that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. "Plus now I can check out the first period before work on Monday, then see the game-winning goal when I get home."

Duncan Keith, who leads both teams in ice time with a record-setting eleven hours, forty three minutes, and fifteen seconds, told reporters shortly before leaving the locker room, "Please, no more. Make it stop. Make it all stop. Someone. Please."

Bruins coach Claude Julien has a long-standing policy of finding ways to keep his teams relaxed during the NHL playoffs. In 2011 when Boston won the Stanley Cup, Julien brought his team to a Vancouver...

“I’m glad to finally reach a point where my teammates and even a few fans will remember my name,” said Bickell. “Up until two weeks ago, Coach Q called me ‘Hey, big guy!’ And when my jerseys came misspelled? Oh man ... Frolik still calls me ‘Bickett.’”

A statement from both mayors said, “These two great cities are billions in debt, so it would be irresponsible for us to make the usual bet, like 200 pounds of Vienna beef hot dogs and a couple of frozen deep-dish pizzas for a few dozen lobsters and a gallon of chowder.”

Asked about the video, Pat Kane Sr. said “Yeah, yeah, yeah … 22 career playoff goals. Of course they’re in the video. But Patrick scored the hat trick because I secretly spliced Miracle on Ice into the film. You know, subliminally, the way the words ‘order a pizza’ are invisibly edited into those late night infomercials for exercise machines.”

Police reported that a 24” J.C. Higgins bicycle with a blown balloon tire was found in a Rhododendron bush with the remnants of a banana seat strewn throughout Pine Tree Lane.