NFL

Bears fan Bob Benson doesn't think his team's stunning loss to the Packers will be too hard on him, assuming he can avoid all media as well as contact with other human beings until the Bears play the St. Louis Rams next Sunday.

"I really don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight," he said, still giddy after watching Bears QB Jay Cutler drop an egg in front of a national audience. "All my years of criticism have finally paid off. I know one quarterback who is going to be turning in an elite performance this week!"

Play along as the Bears travel north to battle Aaron "The Welch" Rodgers and the hated Packers on semi-national television.

"Working closely with Apple, we've developed the new iRef 5, which is much sleeker than human beings and gets the call right 68% of the time," said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. "That's three times as accurate as our union refs, let alone the replacements."

A day after Aaron Rodgers renege on his bet with Boyz II Men to wear a 49ers jersey all week after losing to San Francisco Sunday, he's now found himself on the losing end of a bet with another '90s hip-hop sensation.

Following reports that Packers QB Aaron Rodgers' refused to settle a bet with '90s R&B group Boys II Men based on the outcome of last Sunday's Packers-49ers game, allegations are now surfacing that suggest the incident may only be one of several disputed wagers between Rodgers and other decades old music acts.

“Yeah I always used to root for the Packers to go 16-0,” says 35-year-old cheesehead Cain Woods. “We were so close last year, even with a crap defense. I bet we could have done it this year if we really tried against San Francisco.”