Lovie Smith anxiously awaiting chance to join FOX’s NFL Pregame crew
"I think I'd be a great addition to the team," Smith morosely told reporters. "I mean, I can picture it now. Curt, Mike, Howie, Terry, Jimmy, and myself. All cracking jokes. Jokes about football. Oh, how they would laugh."
Bears fans concerned about Trestman’s lack of meatball appeal
"Dis Tress-man guy seems a little too Canadian for my liking," said Little Village resident Gus Plutowski. "I bet up there, they can't even hit guys no more. How is dis Tress-man going to keep dis team intense like Butkus used to play? And a law degree? My buddy Sal's a cop, he ain't so smart."
Bears hoping Trestman able to lure elusive CFL talent
"In addition to his vast knowledge of the game, we're hoping Marc can bring in some of that elusive CFL talent. For too many years, players have been reticent to venture below the border, but now, just maybe, we can attract guys like Henry Burris and Chris Leak back into the NFL fold."
Bears GM mixes up grocery list with coaching candidates, ends up interviewing head of...
“We just figured he was preparing lunch,” said Ted Phillips after seeing Emery escort a head of lettuce into Halas Hall. “But when I found out he was actually giving an interview, naturally I became a bit concerned."
Russell Wilson changes first name to ROY to promote Rookie of the Year campaign
“Some fans still aren’t sold,” said Wilson. “I need to prove to them that not only does my play distinguish me from the rest, but my name as well. I was never attached to ‘Russell’ anyway.”
Skip Bayless wrong for record 1 billionth time
ESPN columnist and TV personality Skip Bayless made history today when he asserted that the Indianapolis Colts regret drafting Andrew Luck. This random and completely unfounded observation marks the 1,000,000,000th time in Bayless' career that he was blatantly wrong.
Mike Tice revealed to be figment of Lovie Smith’s imagination
“The random timeouts, his inability to get plays out on the field, they all make sense now,” said QB Jay Cutler. “Coach Smith had to wait for his own personal Tyler Durden to saunter in and tell him what to do.”
