MLB

Hawk Harrelson's latest folksy catchphrase actually relates to baseball.

After two days of stating the team was on pace for 162 victories, the White Sox lost Sunday, leaving their fans clueless as to the team’s new pace.

The Cubs received a startling blow to their 2011 playoff hopes when their Opening Day loss to the Pirates mathematically eliminated the team from playoff contention.

“All I gotta say is tell Prior I’m gunning for him,” said Peavy after he pitched four scoreless simulated innings against a bunch of minor leaguers and a homeless man who has been sleeping outside the White Sox spring training complex in Tuscon.

“Let’s see here," said Garza. "There’s the day baseball, poor player amenities at Wrigley, the slew of bars outside the ballpark, the wind blowing out, Ronnie Woo-Woo’s annoying yelping, Todd Ricketts, poor fielding from Soriano and Castro, those guys at the Heckler making fun of me, and who can forget the curse?"

We at The Heckler get unsolicited emails all the time. Usually they're from Sox fans who think we have a North Side bias. Those go straight to the trash. Sometimes, however, they're from people who actually want to talk about sports in an intelligent manner. We save those and today, we've actually answered some of them.

Security cameras captured Carlos Silva eating everything he could get his hands on, including bats, balls, mitts, and even muddy cleats. Nothing was spared as he sat in the clubhouse with a bottle of hot sauce in one hand and baseball gear in the other, shoving everything down his throat.