Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Betts’ new 12-year contract scheduled to end in 2028 due to apocalypse

Despite signing a massive $365 million 12-year contract extension with the Dodgers, Mookie Betts' deal will actually end in only eight years due to the impending global apocalypse that will take place in 2028.

‘HarBowl II’ to be held in parents’ backyard next weekend

“None of my guys or Jim’s guys were ready to have our seasons end just yet.” said John. “But due to some NFL rules that only allow teams to play in the Super Bowl if they win their playoff games even if they're coached by a Harbaugh brother, we had to make some adjustments.”

World Series trophy tests positive for COVID-19

Hours after the Dodgers clinched their first World Series title in 32 years, the Commissioner's Trophy became the first known inanimate object to test positive for COVID-19, likely due to its exposure to Dodgers 3B Justin Turner whose positive test was released in the second inning of Tuesday night's Game 6.

Second-Best Sports Town Update: Philly, Detroit, Denver & Atlanta advance

We’ve reached the Isolated 8 and things are getting intense! Atlanta edged Oakland for the last spot. Now it’s time to see who’s going to make the Furloughed Four!

Yankees deal Feliciano to A’s for office supplies

Three months after southpaw Pedro Feliciano’s left rotator cuff surgery, you wouldn’t expect there to be a market for his services. But then, you’d be underestimating the resourcefulness of Billy Beane.

Wellness Check Podcast: Haymarket Books author/publicist & former Army Ranger Rory Fanning

Today's Wellness Check is with Rory Fanning, who has many extremely interesting stories to tell. Listen here!

NHL rulebook update: beating Hawks, Sharks in regulation now worth three points

“Consider the superhuman effort it would take to actually overcome the inevitable six-goal barrage. Add to that the endless forechecking, skilled defense and two hot goalies,” said a breathless league executive. “We wanted to make such an amazing victory special. That is, if it ever actually happens.”