Betts’ new 12-year contract scheduled to end in 2028 due to apocalypse
Despite signing a massive $365 million 12-year contract extension with the Dodgers, Mookie Betts' deal will actually end in only eight years due to the impending global apocalypse that will take place in 2028.
Wrigleyville street vendor burns Pujols-mocking T-shirts
“I could have donated them, but I didn’t feel like dragging them all to the Brown Elephant,” Vaughn said.“ Looks like my only hope for a profitable 2012 would be if the Cubs could sign Yu Darvish.”
Oakland A’s refuse to pay their rent because the Coliseum is a ‘piece of...
The Oakland A's have refused to pay their annual $1.2 million rent for their stadium. Some have speculated that the refusal of payment is because of the financial struggles caused by the coronavirus pandemic, but Oakland’s owner, John J. Fisher cleared things up to reporters Thursday.
Carl Weathers NFL Power Rankings — Week 8, 2014
Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only eight career NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.
Richard Sherman named first-ever NFL Player-Referee
“It’s true I know the rules better than anyone and can play-ref this game blindfolded,” claims Sherman. “Unfortunately, I also see this as an opportunity for the league to suspend or fine me double every week.”
Albert Pujols asks for help after he admits he doesn’t know how to run
Aging Angels slugger Albert Pujols has spent the quarantine going through some deep self-reflection and has come to terms with a tragic flaw: He never learned how to run.
Generous family pays off layaway debts for JaMarcus Russell
Russell's list of layaway items included a PlayStation 4 with a copy of Madden 2020, a ninja blender, two 20-pound dumbbells, and an unopened audio book copy of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."
