Friday, April 12, 2024

Breathalyzer reveals Gallardo blew his ERA

“I couldn’t believe it when the officer told me I blew a 6.61,” Gallardo told reporters before his first game back after his arrest on suspicion of driving under the influence. “Go figure. If I knew I was going to blow that, I’d have played those numbers straight in the Pick Three lottery.”

Phoenix leveled by giant, rampaging Ryan Braun

Spring Training turned violent today as Milwaukee slugger and suspected steroid user Ryan Braun attacked downtown Phoenix, apparently after "hulking out."

Ronnie Woo-Woo runs over Bernie Brewer to retaliate for Sveum shooting

As he drove away from the scene, Woo-Woo leaned out the window shouting, "REVENGE, WOO! SUCK IT, WOO! CUBS, WOO!"

Bloated corpse of Tony Plush found in Wisconsin roadside ditch

"We've seen Nyjer around all season, but it seems like his .238 batting average was too much for Tony Plush to handle," said Milwaukee County Sheriff Deputy Michael Scottsdale. "Tony left Nyjer earlier this year and it appears he just couldn't handle himself in the outside world."

The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos, Part 2

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

Cubs, Brewers faithful converge on Miller Park to determine ‘MLB’s Drunkest Fans’

Fans of the Chicago Cubs and Milwaukee Brewers converged on Miller Park today not to watch their wretched baseball teams, but to finally determine which franchise has Major League Baseball's drunkest supporters.

Only a few spots left for tonight’s super-cheap Cubs-Brewers game and Cubby Bear pre-party

Team up with The Heckler to watch the North Siders battle the hated Brewers and Ryan "The Testosterone Man" Braun Monday, April 9 at the Friendly Confines. A Cubs game and a kick-ass pre-party are the perfect recipe for a great time!