“I couldn’t believe it when the officer told me I blew a 6.61,” Gallardo told reporters before his first game back after his arrest on suspicion of driving under the influence. “Go figure. If I knew I was going to blow that, I’d have played those numbers straight in the Pick Three lottery.”
As he drove away from the scene, Woo-Woo leaned out the window shouting, "REVENGE, WOO! SUCK IT, WOO! CUBS, WOO!"
"We've seen Nyjer around all season, but it seems like his .238 batting average was too much for Tony Plush to handle," said Milwaukee County Sheriff Deputy Michael Scottsdale. "Tony left Nyjer earlier this year and it appears he just couldn't handle himself in the outside world."
Fans of the Chicago Cubs and Milwaukee Brewers converged on Miller Park today not to watch their wretched baseball teams, but to finally determine which franchise has Major League Baseball's drunkest supporters.
Team up with The Heckler to watch the North Siders battle the hated Brewers and Ryan "The Testosterone Man" Braun Monday, April 9 at the Friendly Confines. A Cubs game and a kick-ass pre-party are the perfect recipe for a great time!