Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Yankees reportedly devastated after being eliminated by ‘third-class’ Tigers

"It is just disgusting that we lost to these bums," said Rodriguez. "Their payroll is only $100 million. What is this, 1999? Talk about living below the poverty line. They can't even afford personal assistants for their batboys."

Verlander ejected from annual Tiger Wiffle ball game for ‘whipping it’

"Everyone knows 'that guy,'" said the guest, who was not in the game at the time but could see what was happening from Inge's grilling area. "Wiffle ball is supposed to be a hitter's game with pitchers throwing junk to get outs. Then one guy starts firing it and the game falls apart."

Tigers sign Prince and immediately seek federal government bailout

“We’re pleased as punch to have Prince here!” said an elated Dombrowski. “However, I do want him to know he may be taking cold showers in our clubhouse, and riding a rented 1987 Greyhound bus when we travel to Tampa--at least until Uncle Sam pulls through!"

MLB Trade Rumors folds after never once suggesting Fielder would sign with Tigers

Visitors to MLBTradeRumors.com will be disappointed to find the popular blog has shuttered after completely missing any scoop that Prince Fielder might sign with the Tigers, despite more than 400 posts over the last year speculating on where the hefty slugger might wind up.

Fielder chooses to emulate Detroit by taking their money as his body falls into...

Newly signed Tiger Prince Fielder has promised the city of Detroit that he will do them proud by taking their money and rapidly decaying into an obese, ineffective eyesore before their very eyes over the nine years of his $214 million contract.

As Prince leaves Milwaukee, bubble bursts on saturated fried cheese industry

“I was doing 30, maybe 40 grand, per week in sales—mostly to Prince," Fried Cheese Please owner Tony Capanelli. "Then Prince left. Now I get maybe two or three old guys coming in here once a week. I just can’t keep the lights on.”