Tigers

"Anytime you can get a talent like Prince, you go out and do it," said Tigers manager Jim Leyland. "Sure, his rotund frame might break down in three or four years, but I'll be long retired by then anyway."

“We have big power arms (starters such as AL MVP Justin Verlander, Doug Fister and Max Scherzer as well as a relief corps featuring flamethrowers such as Al Albuquerque and Jose Valverde), guys who, if they put their mind to it, should be able to just whiff anybody and everybody in the American League,” Leyland said after another delicious puff of sweet tobacco.

Earlier this week, the Oakland A's swooped in and basically stole coveted Cuban sensation OF Yoenis Cespedes, who accepted a four-year, $36 million deal. Of the teams apparently interested in signing him (the Cubs, White Sox, Marlins and Tigers among them) the Athletics were the surprise winner.

Should Inge's move to second not pan out, Leyland said Inge was open to any spot on the 2012 squad, even if it meant the fan favorite would be inserted into the role of beloved Tigers mascot Paws.

After coming to spring training with a bodybuilder's physique and stating he will do anything to stay with the Tigers, Brandon Inge made some enemies in his first day on the job as equipment manager by misspelling star slugger Miguel Cabrera's name "CABRERROR" on the back of his jersey and mis-numbering second basemen Ramon Santiago's jersey "E4."

Loyal Tigers fan and outspoken Brandon Inge critic Lesley "Les" Kowalski is running an ad in the classifieds looking for fans who have sat in section 216 of Comerica Park from 2004 to 2011 to validate his claim that he was the first to publicly denounce the once popular player.