Newly signed Tiger Prince Fielder has promised the city of Detroit that he will do them proud by taking their money and rapidly decaying into an obese, ineffective eyesore before their very eyes over the nine years of his $214 million contract.
The Detroit Tigers defeated the Chicago Cubs in seven games. The Curse of the Billy Goat was placed on the Cubs before the start of Game 4, when Cubs fan Billy Sianis was asked to leave the stadium because his pet goat's odor was offending nearby fans.
MLB Commissioner Rob "Right Said" Manfred today announced the league will no longer conduct instant replay reviews in games that have no playoff implications, citing "stupidity."
Miggy is heading back to Florida. After 13 seasons together, Detroit has traded first baseman Miguel Cabrera to Big Cat Rescue in exchange for a cute tiger cub named Rocky. Big Cat Rescue owner, Carole Baskins, took to YouTube to announce the new addition.