Sunday, March 29, 2020

List of injuries/excuses Bears will use to explain yanking Trubisky for Daniel this week

The Heckler has obtained a secret internal document from Halas Hall not only confirming the injury report was false but also a list of dozens of other injuries/maladies the Bears plan to use in future games where Trubisky struggles.

Bears staff remain unaware they beat Lions because Halas Hall TVs are still off

The usual excitement following a big win Sunday is missing from Halas Hall because Bears QB Mitch Trubisky hasn't allowed the facility's TVs to be turned back on and no one who works for the team is aware of their 20-13 victory over the Lions.

Bears hope remaining opponents will have 2nd-string QB and 3rd-string RBs

A day after snapping his team's four-game losing streak with a 20-13 win over the Lions, Bears coach Matt Nagy said he hopes the season's remaining opponents will scratch their starting QB and be forced to play with a third-string running back like Detroit was.

Bears to kneel on every play to avoid turnovers against Philly

Matt Nagy doubled down Saturday morning, saying he plans to have his offense kneel on every play Sunday rather than risk a turnover against the Eagles.

Trump says there were no boos, only boobs at World Series

“No boos, only boobs,” said Trump, as the White House furiously worked to put his newly coined phrase onto 25-cent trucker hats, to sell at $40 a pop to fight the war on socialism

Nagy to have ‘BE BELICHICK.’ on play card next week

“It’s time for a change,” said Nagy. “Next week against the Eagles it’s ‘BE BELICHICK.’”