The Heckler has obtained a secret internal document from Halas Hall not only confirming the injury report was false but also a list of dozens of other injuries/maladies the Bears plan to use in future games where Trubisky struggles.
"I needed to be honest with him."
The usual excitement following a big win Sunday is missing from Halas Hall because Bears QB Mitch Trubisky hasn't allowed the facility's TVs to be turned back on and no one who works for the team is aware of their 20-13 victory over the Lions.
A day after snapping his team's four-game losing streak with a 20-13 win over the Lions, Bears coach Matt Nagy said he hopes the season's remaining opponents will scratch their starting QB and be forced to play with a third-string running back like Detroit was.
Matt Nagy doubled down Saturday morning, saying he plans to have his offense kneel on every play Sunday rather than risk a turnover against the Eagles.
“No boos, only boobs,” said Trump, as the White House furiously worked to put his newly coined phrase onto 25-cent trucker hats, to sell at $40 a pop to fight the war on socialism
“It’s time for a change,” said Nagy. “Next week against the Eagles it’s ‘BE BELICHICK.’”